Today.

So as I'm writing this, I'm exhausted. I've cried way too much today. Ugh. Matthew is such a fun boy, who loves to be silly, crazy, funny, active. . .my favorite little boy ever, seriously. . .but he also has a strong will and defiant streak, and some days he just seems to have it in for me. Today was just one of those days. Despite dealing with that, and being on edge all day (darn hormones, makes me all weepy), I couldn't just keep us all holed up in the house, we needed to get out and go to Trader Joe's. We get there, we're shopping, he's giving me some attitude along the way, I'm trying to just get through the store. I've got most of my grocery items already in the cart, Kaylie is sitting in the cart as well - we get to the freezer section, I turn to get Mac & Cheese from the freezer (hands off the cart) and all the sudden Matthew has climbed onto the side of the cart which topples over on top of him taking Kaylie and the groceries down with him. It felt like I was frozen for hours, but of course it was just seconds - I didn't know what to do first, do I get Kaylie out? Or pick up Matthew? Try to put the cart upright? Pick up my groceries? Kaylie was sideways in the seat so I go for her first, had trouble getting her feet through the holes, someone had to help me. Someone else helped Matthew up, others picked up my groceries, righted my cart, and one woman just put her arm around me as I held Kaylie and just bawled. Matthew stared at me in shock, I think. I'm thankful there were so many helpful people around, and that people didn't just stop and stare. It was quite embarassing. Kaylie cried for awhile, just because it scared her - she was fine otherwise. I was thankful there was that woman who stood by me with her arm around me, who encouraged me, helped me to feel like my world wasn't really falling apart (when after the day I had totally felt like a possibility - again, darn hormones).  She had 2 little girls of her own, right around my kids ages. Once I collected myself we finished shopping. I still had to bite my lip to keep from crying all the way to the car. Oh well. We are all okay, we got home safely.  

What made it better happened just before bedtime. Matthew had Cubbies (Awanas for preschoolers) tonight, so I had a little breather from my little man. He came home in SUCH good spirits, he was so happy to see me, so bright and cheery, no hint of earlier attitudes. When he was climbing in to bed he grabbed me and gave me a great big bear hug (he is not much of a hugger, so I love all the hugs I can get from him) and he told me he was so sorry for the cart falling over (i had warned him not to climb on it), for his attitude, etc, and he was so sincere - he doesn't often seem sincere. I apologized too, we forgave each other, it was a really good moment. A redeeming moment for the day. A good night's sleep should help make everything better too ;-) After a day like today I'm reminded, this too shall pass - the days are long, but the years are short - I will try to focus on the good parts, the Kairos moments of each day, as long as I'm allowed to vent every now and then, ha!

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Here are a few photos from the week, to add a little color to this post:

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Our little Dragon & Pretty Princess playing dress-up :)

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Arts & Crafts - Sock puppets!

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Rubios with my beautiful little girl :)